Observations

“The mind of a person plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” —Proverbs 16:9^[1]

Have you ever tried to control God? I know I have. Perhaps not overtly, but I know I have and for what seemed to me to be good reasons. If I thought I had good reasons, does that mean I wanted to claim God’s power as my own like Lucifer attempted in heaven?

Since the dawn of sin, time and time again mankind continues to endeavor to put God in a box. Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, seeing that when the snake ate it, he was fine. Perhaps they thought they had some wiggle room in God’s heart. Is there any wiggle room? What about Cain giving fruit as his offering instead of the required lamb? Was he trying to control God?

If we are persistent enough, does God cave in to our whims? This would make us more powerful than God and make Him lame. Is that what happened when the children of Israel decided they wanted a king so they could be like the surrounding nations? Did God give up so they could have what they wanted? 

One author relayed God’s thinking to us in this matter:

“[God] permitted the people to follow their own choice, because they refused to be guided by His counsel. … When men choose to have their own way, without seeking counsel from God, or in opposition to His revealed will, He often grants their desires, in order that, through the bitter experience that follows, they may be led to realize their folly and to repent of their sin.”^[2]

The same author later wrote:

“In the rejection of the ways of God for the ways of men, the downfall of Israel began. Thus also it continued, until the Jewish people became a prey to the very nations whose practices they had chosen to follow. 

“As a nation, the children of Israel failed of receiving the benefits that God desired to give them. They did not appreciate His purpose or co-operate in its execution. But though individuals and peoples may thus separate themselves from Him, His purpose for those who trust Him is unchanged.”^[3]

One day in 2010, at my work at a Christian book publisher in Michigan, I took a call from someone on the west coast, and her name came up on the caller ID, her unusual name. “There’s only one person in the world with that name, and I know her!” my mind screamed. 

She and her family moved from Michigan to the west coast when I was about 12, and I hadn’t communicated with the family since that time. Still, her name was etched in my brain.

I quickly grabbed the phone before anyone else. When we finished business, I introduced myself. She remembered me. Her response: “Oh, you’re the independent one.”

A little embarrassed, I knew what she said was true, for I have always had that independent spirit, often with a desire to control. However, God has been remarkably long-suffering with me, and for that I am grateful. 

When I was caring for my mother, she lived two hours away from my work. I tried to control the situation, commuting every weekend for two years through wind, rain, and snow. By April 2017, I was cracking. I was exhausted working four days a week and three days a week tending to my mother’s needs. In the winter, I never saw my house in the daylight. My relationship with God was nearly non-existent.

About that time, I finally cried out to God from the bottom of my pit: “Help me! I can’t live like this anymore.” 

Nevertheless, true to my independent nature, I started looking for an assisted living facility for my mother. I knew a lady at the church’s conference office whose husband and business partner owned such a place, so I went to look at it. Mom never wanted to leave home, but I knew the day was coming when she wouldn’t be safe there anymore. At the time their rooms were all full, but they were going to add on in the summer. The lady who showed me around promised to call when the space was available, perhaps about August—she never did. 

When I finally let go, God worked so many miracles, I thought we had our share of them. (Click here for many of the miracles God worked for my mother.) He placed her in different facility that was perfect for her needs. 

On June 16, 2017, God confirmed that not only had I followed the path in tending to her care, but I had also selected His choosing for her last “home.” 

“After I unpacked her things and made sure she was settled, I left. I walked through the lobby and noticed a book on one of the small tables next to a chair. I was in awe when I read the title: Expect a Miracle. The book was published and printed where I worked. God just confirmed that I had correctly used the wisdom He put in my heart, and I was following the path He had ordained.”^[4]

I had been trying to manage the situation, which unknowingly, I was also trying to manage God. I just had to let go so God could work.

Recently, God revealed His power to me again, but I had to let go before He could do anything. I have all kinds of issues with water, the car, winter heating, and whatever else might come up. Even though I’m living my best life in the Pacific Northwest, the problems that arise are worse than ever. I still love living in the mountains, and I don’t want to change it, except for heaven.

I believe it’s because I’m doing the right thing in ministry. Satan would have no reason to distract me unless I was walking toward the hope of heaven and have a desire to lead others along the path with me. I by no means suggest that I have arrived because I have a long way yet to go. 

I also know from our studies in the book of Job at Quail Hollow (a mental health assisted living facility near where I live) that nothing is permitted unless God approves it. He tells Satan one of two things: “No, you’re not allowed.” Or “Ok, but here are your limitations.” So when something challenging happens, I think it means that God is doing something to grow my character. We all have problems because He works with each of us differently.

I wouldn’t let God do anything to change the circumstances of the ever-worsening issues with the car because I figured that even if I had a brand-new vehicle, I would still have issues to deal with. Finally, I let go and let God go about His business. 

Wednesday morning, March 19, 2025, I prayed, “Father, I am weary. You know what’s best about this car situation. I’m willing to live with the old one, but just do what’s best.” 

Apparently God still has miracles to work for me. Wednesday evening of that very same day, God gifted me with a 2024 vehicle with less than 10,000 miles on it. 

God called again. I had been praying to go back east to see feeble family and friends. I’ve lost loved ones since I left Michigan nearly three years ago, but others I want to see again before it’s too late. Apparently, God agreed.

Now that I have a vehicle that can go long distances, I prayed for and planned an extended road trip. I thought about going in the fall, but God’s beckoning is now, so I embarked on Friday, May 9, for what I expect will be about eight weeks and return home sometime in July.

Not only do I have people to see, but God has also allowed me to spend some much-needed time in the nature that I so love. Birds and other wildlife thrill me. 

I also have quite a spiritual odyssey ahead me. I don’t know when I’m going to learn my lesson of surrendering everything to God and give up my independent spirit. I desire to do it, for sure. I praise God for power of the Holy Spirit who leads me on the path to the throne of grace so that one day I will get there.

Galatians 6:14 is my prayer: “Far be it from me to boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.” 

I want that crucifixion. Will you join me?

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^[1] New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. All rights reserved.

^[2] E. G. White, Patriarchs and Prophets (Battle Creek, MI: Review and Herald Publishing Association, 1890), 605, emphasis added.

^[3] E. G. White, Education (Oakland, CA: Pacific Press Publishing Association, 1903), 50, emphasis added.

^[4] Debi Tesser, “Miracles for Mom,” https://timetogetready.org/miracles/miracles-mom, accessed May 25, 2025.

“Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice.” —Proverbs 23:25 KJV

Today is a day we celebrate mothers in America. Often mom’s lead hard lives, but they give a tremendous amount of love in the midst of those challenges. Today is my sixth Mother’s Day without my mom. Sometimes I wonder why she put up with me, but she loved and supported me through all of it.

Was she perfect? None of us are. Despite her imperfections, she did the best she could in every situation. 

When I look at mothers in the Bible, I see the same: imperfect women who walked a journey that will take them to the Promised Land.

Consider Eve. She must have been devastated when one son murdered another, knowing that it was because of her choice to eat the fruit. 

Sarah, Rachel, Hannah, and Elisabeth: year after year, they suffered childlessness. In 1 Samuel 1:10, we read that Hannah “was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish.”^[1]

Then there is Naomi. She and her family had to go to a foreign land just to eat. Her husband died. Her two sons were married. Afterward, they died too!

Once Naomi returned home, people started asking her questions. In Ruth 1:20, she responded, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.”^[2] Naomi was so disappointed in her life experience. 

All of these ladies found joy and went on to lead productive lives, leaning on the Lord. Eve gave birth to Seth, Sarah to Isaac, Rachel to Joseph and Benjamin, Hannah to Samuel, and Elisabeth to John the Baptist. Naomi’s widowed daughter-in-law Ruth, the Moabitess, married Boaz, whose descendants include Jesus Christ Himself. 

Many of us think of Mary, the mother of Jesus, to be the ultimate of mothers. Was she perfect? No. Yet, she accepted God’s call to bear the Child out of wedlock. She knew the challenges would be formidable. Nevertheless, she endured—even the pain of her Son’s cruel crucifixion. She did it for all of us.

If you still have your mom, give her a little extra love today. She doesn’t expect anything fancy, just a phone call, a hug, anything that will show her that you appreciate the sacrifices she made for you.

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^[1] Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

^[2] New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. All rights reserved.

I am certain that we all have had rough spots along our various paths of life. We can look at them teary-eyed, with disappointment and despair. Or we can choose to be positive, using them as growing experiences. Maybe you skidded off a slippery, lonely country road after dark when the temperature was going to drop to 17 degrees below zero.

Yes, that happened to me, and I had my eight-month old schnauzer with me. When that happened, I didn’t carry a cell phone. I didn’t want one, and I figured life was good without one (God orchestrated events to drag me out of the dark ages to become part of the 21st century, but that is another story).

Light snow was falling when my front right tire caught the lip at the edge of the pavement. My car spun around in a few circles, landing in a shallow ditch with a huge snow drift. Trying to back out was hopeless. A farm house was nearby, but opening the car door and climbing through the snow was impossible.

Still, I had blessings. When I was spinning, I could have hit the nearby telephone pole. Or down the road a quarter mile, and I could have landed upside down in the river. I, without doubt, had God’s hand over me in the bitterly cold night air.

In a quandary about what to do, God blessed me with a generous soul who phoned for a tow truck. He left to get out of the cold as soon as the towing company was on its way.

Fortunately, it is my habit to travel in the winter with quilts. By the time the tow truck driver arrived 15 or so minutes later, the battery was fading quickly, and we had to snuggle to stay warm—a little pup doesn’t offer much body heat though.

The tow truck driver pulled us out of the ditch with ease. He charged the battery and stayed with us while its life revived (the car started fine the next morning despite the cold). After that, we arrived home without further event.

I realize that this event was considerably less daunting than the heartbreaks some people endure. I have learned that no matter how difficult the circumstances, someone else always has it worse. Nevertheless, God allows different testing events for each of us because we are all at different places along the pathway that leads to His throne.

What the Bible Has to Say about Trial

The apostle James had something to say about the various trials we have in life and why we have them. We find his thoughts in the first chapter of his writing:

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

— James 1:2–4

James’ comments are just one place in the Bible where we learn that we have challenges in life to refine our characters. While never easy, they always have purpose.

One November evening after a particularly stormy day, the sun came out and lit the twilight sky. We can expect beauty when the tempests of life come to end.

E. G. White also had something to say about the rough stuff in life that cultivates our characters. The quote is found in Testimonies for the Church, vol. 7, page 214. A while back I made a little video, illustrating it with my photography. Enjoy the illustrations. Take to heart the words.

Have you ever been disappointed? I would venture to say that most of us have at one time or another.

Did you know that we can benefit from the pain of disappointment? Unfortunately, many of us wallow it.

This is a first for me: first web site, first blog, first posting. All these firsts were born from disappointment.

I had prayed and labored long to return to Kenya on a mission trip in August 2018. In the end, God said no.

Invitation to Kenyan Mission Trip

April 20, 2016, was a normal workday for me at a Christian book publisher. We’re such a small team that we all wear many hats. Among the things I do, I talk to people, many of them. On that particular day, a lady by the name of Anita called about ordering some Bibles to take to Africa. She leads the Mara Vision Outreach ministry, and they provide pastors and teachers for the Masaai and Samburu tribes in Kenya.

She invited me to participate in the mission trip that was planned for that August. I promptly, and as graciously as possible, declined the opportunity because it didn’t make sense. Such a trip was costly. Besides, I was the primary caregiver for my mother. Why would God want me to leave her?

God’s Calling

However, a dear friend who is more like a sister asked, “Did you talk to God about that?” So I did.

The experience was a combination of Jeremiah 29:11: “I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord,” and Ephesians 3:20: “Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think.”

Living in a Zoo

God opened one door after another, working a string of miracles. My mother’s care was completely taken care of through volunteers and an extra grant from her local Commission on Aging. The biggest miracle of all was that He paid for the trip. A stranger donated $4,500 so I could make the excursion.

The excursion was incredible. Of the sixteen days I was gone, nine of them were in the African bush. Our camp was just across the Talek River from the Maasai Mara Game Reserve. It was like living in a zoo for those nine days. As a birder, I added more than ninety birds to my life list, including the lilac-breasted roller. It’s about the size of an American crow.

God Called in Childhood

As I child, I loved mission stories that came from Africa. Accounts of David Livingston’s and Robert Moffat’s adventures captured my attention like no other place in the world, not Australia, not Argentina, not Austria—only Africa. As I grew, I wanted to be a missionary to Africa. By the time I graduated into adulthood that calling had been tucked into a back pocket in my brain. I didn’t think about it again until I was on the Mara. Just a few days into the trip those dreams came to life, and I realized that I was in the very land of my childhood dreams.

Utter Disappointment When God Said “No”

Another mission trip with Mara Vision Outreach was scheduled for August 2018. Oh, how I wanted to return to the amazing land to participate in more mission work. I labored hard to raise the funds to go. Other doors opened as well. In the end, God said, “No, it’s not time for you to return yet.” I was bitterly disappointed. I wanted to know why, and in time God showed me, for the disappointment drove me to the Scriptures.

In my study on disappointment, I found great comfort in the Scriptures. As I turned the pages of the Bible, I found verse after verse of hope. Those verses let me to a book entitled The Desire of Ages* by E. G. White, page 668, where I discovered these words:

He is well pleased when they make the very highest demands upon Him, that they may glorify His name. They may expect large things if they have faith in His promises.

I asked myself the question, “How are we in any position to make demands upon God?” So being the word lover that I am, I looked up its meaning. In the author’s day, the word also meant “petitions.” So when we put the very highest petitions before God, He is very pleased. In so doing, we may “expect large things.” Hence, the title of this blog leapt off the page.

God’s Reasons to Keep Me Home

I still don’t know all of God’s reasons, but it started just three days after I was supposed to leave. I became extremely ill from a massive infection. If that had happened in Africa, they would have buried me over there.

Another reason was my mother. Nearly a year after I went to Africa, God opened doors to place her in a nursing home. He even selected the facility. In the fall of 2018, some potentially dicey legal issues arose over her care. If I had gone to Africa, the situation would have been much worse. In the end, everything was fine, and I was exonerated. Also, I didn’t know I would have less than five months with my mother. She passed to her rest on January 10, 2019.

Conclusion

So I hope and pray that you will go exploring with me as we discover the purpose and benefits of disappointment, as well as other emotions and passions that can lead to hope if we let them. We can either soar with the birds or wallow in the pit. I choose to soar with the birds. What about you?

*I will receive a commission from any purchase made from Family Home Christian Books using this link or the one above.